


Katara Deserves Better than Aang

by lackingwxt



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Essays, Other, academic essay, academic work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27888364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lackingwxt/pseuds/lackingwxt
Summary: I spent a very long time yelling about how Kataang makes no sense after AtLA was released on Netflix. My cousin told me to put my thoughts on paper, MLA format. So here's ten pages of me screaming. Please do not bother to read this if you are not open to changing your mind about this ship, or not willing to have a constructive conversation. I've literally tagged this as antikataang. Hate read at your own risk.
Relationships: anti kataang - Relationship, antikataang
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	Katara Deserves Better than Aang

Katara Deserves Better than Aang:   
Proof that I am an English Major with no Self-Control and Too Much Salt

_ Avatar the Last Airbender _ came out in 2005, and its last episode aired in 2008. The show takes difficult issues like genocide, imperialism, racism, personal growth, healing, and forgiveness and encapsulates them into engaging, believable animation series enjoyable to both children and adults. It has engrossed children of the time and followed them to adulthood. The beautiful animation and complicated storylines have never left my mind, and I am twenty-one now. This show holds up to scrutiny over ten years later. However, there is one glaring inconsistency: Katara’s relationship with Aang. The show ends with these two characters in a relationship, and later, in the sequel, are revealed to be married. Katara deserved better.

The show sets up Aang and Katara’s relationship its infancy as paternal rather than romantic. She symbolically gave birth to Aang. He was stuck inside an iceberg with no hope of getting out himself, alive only in the most liberal sense of the world. When people go into labor, they often use the phrase that “their water broke.” Katara uses water to break through the iceberg and free Aang, thus birthing him. Upon seeing him, she cradles him as she would a child. This is the first instance of Katara mothering Aang, but it certainly is not the last. There are jokes about Katara mothering Aang within the universe of the show. A mother’s role is to teach, nurture, and care for. That is Katara’s role throughout the entirety of the show, sometimes outright stated, and sometimes implied. She is his waterbending master, a position of power and respect over Aang. 

Teaching Aang does not stop when Aang’s mastered the element. Katara spends a lot of the show attempting to teach Aang emotional maturity, while shielding him from anything that would make him emotionally mature. The third episode of the show, Katara begins a difficult conversation, trying to soften the blow of the genocide of his people. Aang refuses to listen to her levelheaded reminder that “a lot can change in [a hundred years],” always the stubborn child (S1E3). When proof of the Fire Nation raid, in the form of Fire soldier helmet, Katara initially decides to show Aang, but changes her mind upon seeing him so happy. She is stuck, like many mothers, in a difficult position; she wants Aang to learn but does not want him hurt. Sokka tells her that she “can’t protect him forever,” a line many mothers would recognize and sympathize with (S1E3). She often gives him pep talks, corrects his posture, and apologizes for Aang’s behavior, exactly as a mother would. When Aang, upset by the gentrification of the Northern Air Temple, runs off, Katara apologizes for his rudeness. She tells Teo that “Aang used to come here a long time ago. I think he’s a little shocked it’s so…different” (S1E17). The show is littered with parental conversations between the two people a viewer is supposed to see as having a romantic relationship. 

While this is established in the first season of the show, by no means do Aang and Katara ever grow out of this paternal relationship. It continues well into the second and third season. Perhaps one of the most damning pieces of evidence for Katara and Aang’s paternal relationship comes at the end of season two. Katara holds a dead Aang much as the Virgin Mary holds a dead Jesus. 

The comparison is simple, but very effective. This way of holding someone is often referred to as a pietà, meaning pity or compassion in Italian, and is an important subject in Christian works. The statue pictured above is Michelangelo’s version of the pietà, but his example is far from the only one. The pietà has been around almost as long as the Christian religion has been. Katara and Aang taking this position is significant to the idea that Katara is his motherly figure. This is a motherly position by default, as it references Jesus and his mother. Why would anyone reference this imagery if their intent were not to draw on decades of Christian religion, and the Virgin Mary?  _ Avatar the Last Airbender _ does not exist in a bubble, and its creators, writers, and animators were familiar with the pietà. Even I, an atheist, am familiar with the pietà and the implications it has. 

This is not the last time Katara is seen as Aang’s mother. She passes herself off as his mother in the second episode of the third season, being motherly enough that the headmaster tells comments on how “any mother would say” what Katara does in Aang’s defense (S3E2). One of the most glaring parental scenes is their last interaction before Aang fights Ozai. Aang must make a difficult decision regarding the Fire Lord’s fate. Should he kill him? What does he do with Ozai if he does not kill him? It is against the Air Temple monks’ teachings to kill, yet Ozai will remain a constant danger if something is not done. Aang struggles with an enormous moral dilemma. No one can make the choice for him. Sokka advises him to kill Ozai, which is what everyone assumed Aang would do. Aang, in a very childish outburst, claims that “None of you understands the position I’m in!” (S3E18). He has a point. None of them can possibly understand the moral turmoil he has been placed in, especially since all his friends have, at one point or another, killed. Katara tries to help him through it, offering a comforting, “Aang, we do understand. It’s just […] We’re trying to help” (S3E18). His outburst then is accusatory, and he storms off, as he often does when he does not want to deal with his negative emotions. Katara, motherly even this late into the show, goes after him, and is stopped by Zuko, who gives advice many other mother characters have heard in many other shows: “Let him go. He needs time to sort it out by himself” (S3E18). This last interaction is what viewers are left with before Aang and Katara are magically, suddenly, in a relationship, despite three seasons of parental relationships. 

In addition to the parental relationship between them, their attraction is presented as largely one-sided. In  _ the Fortune Teller _ , the fourteenth episode of season one, Aang, Sokka, and Katara find themselves in a village that overwhelmingly relies on a fortune teller, rather than their own reason. Meng, the fortune teller’s assistant, has a crush on Aang. The episode paints their unrequited loves as overwhelmingly parallel. Meng points it out herself when Aang tells her his name: “That rhymes with Meng!” she tells him excitedly (S1E14). The parallels do not stop with their names. Meng is a ten-year-old girl, two years younger than Aang, who is two years younger than Katara. Like Katara, Aang shows no interest in Meng. The same thing happens when the kids see the object of their affection. The same sparkles, the same shine, and the same music. They even flirt in the same exact way. To get Aang’s attention, Meng points to a cloud and says, “Hey, Aang, doesn’t that cloud look like a flower?” (S1E14). Aang is disinterested, and acts as such, but then turns to Katara and flirts in the same way: “Hey, Katara, doesn’t that cloud look like a flower?” (S1E14). Katara is exactly as disinterested. 

The idea of Aang as a romantic partner must be introduced to Katara because she does not see him that way. Aunt Wu, the fortune teller, tells Katara that she will marry “a very powerful bender” (S1E14). Katara does not even consider Aang as a possibility until Sokka says he forgets “what a powerful bender” Aang is. Aang is the Avatar. He is likely the strongest bender, having the power to bend all four elements. Why then does Katara not consider him when Aunt Wu tells her the fortune? Because she has no romantic feelings for Aang on her own. This is okay! There is nothing wrong with a one-sided crush. They happen all the time. In fact, Meng and Aang have a very mature conversation on unrequited affection within this very episode. Meng approaches Aang to talk about her feelings towards him, having noticed that Aang was very obviously not interested. Aang tells her that he likes her, but not romantically. Meng, at ten years old, understood the signs of disinterest and told him that not returning her affection was okay. “It’s just really hard when you like someone, but they don’t think of you that way,” the little Earth Kingdom girl tells the Avatar (S1E15). Meng understands that she needs to back off, and she does. Why then, if their stories are so obviously parallel, does Aang not learn the same lesson? 

The answer may be very simple. Aang does not see Katara as her own, definitive person. Rather, she is there as a resource for him. Katara consistently puts Aang the person before Aang the Avatar. She refers to his past, his needs, his desires. She thinks of Aang before she thinks of what he can do for others. Yes, she wants him to save the world, but in whichever way he wants to. Katara and Sokka both insist on going to the Northern Water Tribe so that Aang can master waterbending. Before doing that, though, Aang wants to “ride the hopping llamas,” “surf on the backs of giant koi fish,” and “ride the hog-monkeys” (S1E2). Katara does not disagree, and they try to do everything Aang wants before they go to the Northern Tribe. Katara understands that while he is the Avatar, and it is his duty to save the world, he is still a kid, and he wants to have fun. Katara does not begrudge him the ability to do things his own way. In the first episode of season two, the team encounters General Fong, who wants to harness the power of the Avatar State against the Fire Lord. When the general suggests his own, Katara is dedicated to Aang’s plan: “Aang’s pursuing  _ his _ destiny  _ his _ way!” (S1E1, emphasis original). However, when Aang eventually agrees to General Fong’s plan, Katara is supportive. She makes her negative opinions on the plan known very clearly, but Katara is with Aang during the first round of attempts. Katara sits by as Aang tries the “rare chi-enhancing tea,” when Sokka tries to surprise Aang into the Avatar State, and during the pretentious ceremony meant to “join the four elements into one” (S2E1). Katara again voices valid concerns on the Avatar State’s power and unpredictability, but Aang decides he must still do it. Katara does not throw a temper tantrum or try to argue further. She accepts his decision but decides against seeing it herself. 

Aang could return this respect in season three. He does not. This is most obvious during the season three episode  _ Southern Raiders _ , where Katara decides to confront the man who killed her mother. Aang compares his loss of Appa to Kya’s death, a tone-deaf comparison at least, and a cruel one at worst. He says, “You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa?” (S3E16). Immediately after he compares Kya’s death to the Air Nomads’ genocide, but neither of these things are similar. Appa, while an amazing character in his own right, is not a mother, and Aang did not witness the death of the Air Nomads. Katara did. Katara spent her whole life knowing that the Fire Nation soldiers were looking for her. They were looking for the last Southern waterbender, and she was it. The guilt and rage she felt throughout her entire life are not comparable to either to the loss of either Appa or the Air Nomads. He then compares Katara to Jet, a boy who tried to kill hundreds for the crime of having Fire Nation citizens in their town. Katara’s search for justice and revenge against a murderer is, again, incomparable. The only person who has any room to judge is Sokka, but even he did not see his mother’s murder like Katara did, and even he has no idea what it’s like to know that it should have been him. Rather than accepting Katara’s decision, Aang spends every conversation in this episode forcing his Air Nomad beliefs on her, rather than accepting her own. He keeps telling her to “forgive him” (S3E16). This judgement is extremely hypocritical of him, as upon realizing the Fire Nation killed Gyatso, Aang enters the Avatar State, nearly destroying the Southern Air Temple and killing Sokka and Katara. 

While the viewer always sees Katara asking after Aang’s past and offering him support, we never see Aang do the same. His concern is almost always how she can help him, rather than how he can help her. We see Zuko, concerned about Katara, reach out to Sokka to ask what happened to their mother. Through Zuko and Sokka, the viewer sees the first complete account of what happened to Kya. Katara mentions her mother all the time. Kya’s death was a scar on their family that they can never quite heal. Yet the viewer never knows exactly what happened to her until Zuko asks. Aang never does. In the first season, when Zuko steals Katara’s necklace, Aang never asks why it was important to her. We find out in previous episodes that her mother gave it to her, but it is a conversation between Katara and Haru. Aang himself never asks for any of this information, and never sees the need to have it. He never thinks about how he can help her. 

Katara is painted throughout the series as someone that Aang will have to let go of. His attachment to Katara is a crutch. He uses her, unintentionally, to get in and out of the Avatar State. Katara gets him out of it during  _ the Southern Air Temple _ episode, and Katara gets him into it during the  _ Avatar State _ episode. The Avatar can have romantic attachments. Many Avatars do. Roku was married to Ta Min; Kyoshi had a girlfriend named Rangi; Kuruk had Ummi. None of these Avatars had the same trouble with the Avatar State that Aang does. None of their romantic interests were a crutch the way that Katara is because all their romantic interests returned their affection. Aang’s refusal to let go of Katara is selfish, and thus he cannot control the Avatar State properly. Why is it selfish? Because his attachment to Katara is selfish. As previously stated, he forces his views on Katara and never offers her the same support she offers him. Seasons two and three show him growing more entitled and aggressive when it comes to Katara. He kisses her twice without her consent. 

The first time, Katara is trying to reassure Aang. She has the utmost confidence that he will return after the Day of Black Sun. He “cuts off the conversation with a kiss, much to the surprise of Katara” (S3E10).

That is not the face of a teenage girl who is happy to have been kissed. That is the face of shock and displeasure. Aang’s entitlement to Katara rears its head again during the  _ Ember Island Players _ . The play is hilarious and awful in almost every way except one: It paints Katara and Aang with a sibling relationship. The actress playing Katara says that Aang is “like a little brother” and that she loves him “like a brother” (S3E17). This upsets Aang thoroughly. He cannot tell the difference between a fictional version of Katara and the real one sitting next to him. During intermission, he asks, “Katara, did you really mean what you said in there?” as if she were the actress on the stage (S3E17). Katara is understandably confused, and asks what he means, but Aang is visibly irritated by the question. Katara feels the need to clarify that she and the actress are not the same person: “I didn’t say that. An actor said that” (S3E17). The conversation goes on to Katara telling him that she is confused about her feelings. More specifically, she says she does not whether she feels more for him than she does her brother, and later that she is “a little confused” (S3E17). Despite Katara very obviously stating that she did not know whether she wanted a relationship with him or not, Aang kisses her. He was very clearly told no, but he did not understand that as an answer. When it comes to Katara, he rarely does. This lack of consent is never brought up. Aang never apologizes for it, and Katara pretends that everything is alright afterwards. This is not okay. Consent is important; without it, romance becomes assault. Aang never learns this lesson, and thus continues putting Katara in these uncomfortable situations. 

Beyond the issue of consent, being with Aang stalls Katara’s own growth. Throughout the show, viewers have seen Katara as a strong feminist character with views of her own. She has a bravery and fearlessness that many girls looked up to. She incited a prison riot. She challenged a master bender because his views were insulting and outdated. She mastered waterbending at fourteen. She became the Painted Lady to help a village in need. She fought alongside Zuko to defeat Azula, one of the strongest firebenders in the series. Katara has never been one to silence her voice. Yet after getting with Aang, we see her do exactly that. She is reduced almost entirely to “Aang’s girlfriend” and “Korra’s teacher.” The series opened with Katara complaining about household chores, and the viewer is supposed to believe that she would be okay with being the stay-at-home mom Legend of Korra portrays her as? There is nothing wrong with traditionally feminine roles, but Katara outright said that is not what she wanted for herself. Why is she overwhelmingly silent on her relationship with Aang? The first and last moment in the show of her contemplating her relationship with Aang is her saying she does not know if she feels anything romantic towards him. Her valid concerns are never discussed again. They are pushed to the side. Aang and Katara are suddenly, magically, in a relationship despite her obvious disinterest. By being in a relationship with Aang, she has become an object for Aang’s consumption, rather than the fully fledged out character every viewer saw her as. She is sidelined. Very literally, as shown in the comics.

Katara deserves better than to be in a relationship with a boy she practically raised, to never get from that relationship what she puts into it, to never be fully understood, and to be constantly ignored in favor of her partner. She was a wonderful character that so many women and girls saw themselves in. She could have been so much more, if it were not for her relationship with Aang. Mind you, this is not an attack on Aang. He, too, is a wonderful, believable character. But he is a child who never had to learn that he is not entitled to everything and everyone he wants. His character development would have gained a lot from finally understanding that Katara is not a commodity. Katara would have gained a lot from finally understanding that she does not have to swallow her feelings for Aang’s sake. Katara deserved better than Aang. 

* * *

Works Cited

Transcripts and screenshots from  [ AvatarSpirit.Net ](http://www.avatarspirit.net/) .

Comic images from  [ araeph ](https://araeph.tumblr.com/post/160446273650/do-agree-with-people-who-say-aang-and-katara-went) .


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